When things are trying and ever day seems like a test in not letting the mind wander and every night a battle to settle below the surface of worried wakefulness, I remind myself that nothing matters except the four of us. We can’t control others, their reactions or even more frustratingly, their lack of reactions and willingness to move forward.
What you can do is focus on the things that matter.
Do things that make you happy- everyday. Then focus on your loved ones and those who depend on you. Just like a happy wife is a happy life, in the words of Jackie Kennedy Onassis the best thing a wife can do for her husband is ‘be a distraction’.
A husband lives and breathes his work all day long. If he comes home to more table thumping, how can the poor man ever relax?
I practice Feng Shui in my home as it gives structure to my ultimate goal of creating a harmonious home. I put things back where they belong. I seek and execute healthy meals. I run errands so that everyone has what they need. I plan things that I know will make my family happy. I water the plants and feed the pets. I invite good chi (energy flow) into our home. Most importantly I schedule time to do things that make me happy.
Another famous Jackie quote is:
If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do matters very much.
How true and yet hard to gauge.
I was talking to a friend who is expecting her first grandchild in the fall. She told me that her gauge is that both her children want to call her.
My goals in terms of what kind of relationship I want to have with my monkeys now and well into their adulthood is:
- I want us to enjoy spending time together.
- I want to continue to learn from them- children are our teachers and in the words of Kahlil Gibran: You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
- I want us to continue saying I love you and hug each other every time.
What do you do to make yourself and your loved ones happy?
What are your gauges?