14.2.11

Bashert

On our ten year anniversary

Dr J and I don't celebrate Valentines Day- Never have, seems a bit redundant.  
When he leaves for work, before I wake up, he leaves me a note.  
When we lived in Detroit he would fill up my car with gas for me in the winter.
Now in the dessert he fills up my car for me in the summer.

We had a short courtship- less than a year before we were married. 
When we found each other is was bashert
We didn't wait, we didn't take time to figure it out- we were just grateful to have found each other. 

According to Jewish writings before a male child is born, a 'voice from heaven' announces who he will marry- bashert means 'it is meant to be'- fate or destiny. 
The word bashert can be used to refer to any kind of fortuitous good match, such as finding the perfect job or the perfect house, but it is usually used to refer to one's soul mate.

This poem is a favorite of ours:

On Marriage
 Kahlil Gibran
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.


Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.


Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.


I also relate marriage to the the lyrics of the Beyonce and Jay Z song Bonnie and Clyde:
She do anything necessary for him
And I do anything necessary for her
So don't let the necessary occur!

35 comments:

jeanette from everton terrace said...

Well said, I completely agree. My husband and I don't buy cards or gifts. We say Happy Valentine's Day and I'm going to make his favorite dessert today but I don't always. It's the little things during the rest of the year that show love for us. The poem is wonderful.

Ninjagaiden78 said...

Nice post.
I love the fact that you all do the little things for each other.
To a successful union.
Happy Valentines Day.

windowshopz.com

Grace said...

Happy Happy!

Bruce Barone said...

Very beautiful.

sherri said...

love that poem. happy anniversary!

Dani G said...

I love this and I love both of you guys!!!

Noodles and Waffles said...

You're living a beautiful love story...

Clair said...

Sounds like you both have many
Valentines Days throughout the year. Beautiful post.
Clair

Lenore @ Lather. Write. Repeat. said...

Love this post, so so sweet! Thanks for sharing a little about you and Dr. J...I mean Bonny and Clyde!

XO
Lenore

anushka said...

i love yiddish words and their meanings. i think our love was bashert too. we too don't celebrate valentine's day and also think it's redundant. but, i do love hearts and sweets and making special things for my baby. : ) xox

Elisa said...

awww how sweet to show your love on a daily basis, sounds like the secret to a long and happy journey together!

I particularly like this line,......"But let there be spaces in your togetherness,..."

i interpret this as meaning you keep your individuality.

Have a wonderful day!

Lady Grey said...

I love Kahlil Gibran. It's a beautiful poem.

this free bird said...

I love Bashert, Ren!! We don't do much on the V-Day front either. We call each other Valentine like a couple of 12 year olds and say roam-ants and stuff, but that's about it. As long as there's chocolate in the house, I'm good. haha!

And the Hov and B song is one of my faves (can't just believe I admitted that, but then again I have outed myself on Bieber).

Okay I'm about 80% today so have to claim my prize from the other day. Woman did you not see my rat's nest ponytail in that pic?? Hadn't washed that lid in 2 days!

xo,
C

Mo Pie, Please said...

Such a sweet post! Congrats on finding the love of your life and never having any doubts. Your story is unique and beautiful and I love it!

Sandy a la Mode said...

awwww this is sooo very well said!! it's all about the little things, isn't it? :)

ag. said...

Aww, so sweet! You guys look made for each other! Love that photo!

Libbie said...

I just love when you know it was just meant to be :) I love reading about your everyday love! It sure is wonderful isn't it!? Have a great day together!!! Cute pic too!

The Wife of a Dairyman said...

It's so nice to see a photo of the two of you on your blog!
And, I totally agree....it's the little things done every day that really matter and are special. Have a happy day:)

drollgirl said...

you nabbed a good man! glad that you both cherish each other!!! :)

Mama Gone Green said...

Happy Anniversary!!

Ren- Lady Of The Arts said...

Our anniversary was a few months ago- but thanks-

Bossy Betty said...

So lovely!

la petite coquine said...

You just brought such happy tears to my eyes-my parents read "On Marriage" to each other at their wedding! As a kid, I never understood the poem, but as an adult, I love the sentiment so much. Horray for celebrating love everyday!

Erika said...

We have never done Valentines Day either. And I had never hear the story behind bashert, that is simply beautiful.

Getrealmommy said...

Okay, I insist on observing Valentine's Day, and my husband follows directions. :)
Very romantic story. Perfect for today! Happy Valentine's Day to you, even if you don't celebrate....

But you should, just saying....

Gisela said...

Thanks for this romantic and honest post - Makes me happy :-)

Love
Gisela

bklyn76 said...

love that pic of the two of you...and yes, it definitely sounds like bashert!

khalil gibran always has the words to say what i cannot articulate.

Krysten @ After 'I Do' said...

Awwwwww, this is so so sweet!

Diana Mieczan said...

That is such a sweet post and adorable photo:) Wish you a lovely day
Kisses

Krystal said...

what a beautiful poem! and i love that you gave a shout out to jay-z and b...very nice :)

Phoenix said...

What a gorgeous poem to articulate an already beautiful post. I loved it. Such perfect words (and photo) to capture a wonderful relationship!

Ola said...

we dont't celebrate this holiday, either-too commercial

Faiza said...

i love that you quoted gibran and jay-z in the same blog post!

happy love life to you and yours.

Pat Tillett said...

I hope you had a great day! You've prompted me to dig out the 60 year old printing of the "Prophet" that's in a box somewhere here...

Heather Taylor said...

Congrats to both of you on your 10 year anniversary!

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